This is a flashback to Berlin Half Marathon 2016. I wrote the piece on April 5th, 2016, two days after the race. It’s funny to think back on it, and, indeed, to read my old thoughts on it as well. Oh, the nostalgia. I can’t believe it was seven years ago… Anyway, have a read yourself.
Great expectations, not-so-great results.
Those words probably best summarise my performance at the 36th Berlin Half Marathon this Sunday. But what’s a summary without the very thing it summarises? Indeed, there’s more to the story than that—and here it comes.
Like Charles Dickens’ novel of the same name, I had great expectations for this particular race. These originated already in autumn last year when I ran another half marathon (Copenhagen Half) and set a new personal best of 1.10.49. I was ecstatic. I was motivated. I was bitten by the prospect of improvement. With that in mind, and with many months of training before me, I hoped I could get below that magical barrier at 1.10.00.
But things seldom turn out as expected. Indeed, my winter training was dominated entirely by long, steady runs (read: an apathy towards the tougher workouts)—a pattern that fed well into the first few months of the new year. But such is the way of things; if you don’t have your head in the game, it’s likely that your legs won’t be there either.
I learned that the hard way, as my legs really didn’t want to move any faster through the roads of Berlin. I can’t complain about the roads, though, or the route, or the weather, or Berlin in general. Everything was perfect, or as close as it can possibly get. The route was fast, the roads were even, the weather was great, and the crowd was nothing short of amazing. So it was all me. Me and my poor preparation. I knew that well enough before the race, though, which is also why breaking that 1.10 barrier looked like a longshot.
I aimed for that shot, that goal, in the beginning, though. I bolted out the starting blocks and dashed ahead in a pace that proved a bit too fast. But hey, I had to try, right? Yep, I did… And it cost me. Cost me dear.
I kept that pace the first several kilometers. It was my goal pace, and had I only kept it the entire way… No, let’s just cut it right there, ’cause I couldn’t keep it. I guess I felt the first few signs of fatigue at around the 7k mark. At that point I thought: “I just have to hold it like this for two more thirds of the way.” Ha, what a thought. What a dream. What wishful thinking… Maybe if I’d had someone to run with. Maybe if I’d practiced that pace in the months before. Maybe, maybe, maybe… The fact is I had the chance to do both those things. And I didn’t seize it. I didn’t have my head in the game. Now, if I’d done some workouts in that pace, then I would have felt comfortable there. Then I wouldn’t have feared it. For the thing is with workouts like that: they don’t just boost your physical potential; they also give you a psychological boon. They bolster your courage. They ease your mind. In the face of fear or pain or suffering, they are an anchor in your memory that you can always hark back upon (provided they aren’t too far in the past, of course), and remember, and use to empower yourself to overcome your problems—whatever those may be, either running-related or otherwise.
I had lost my anchor in the cold, dark months of winter. I had nothing to look back upon. To remember. Nothing but an awful lot of long, steady runs. And so I was unsure. Uncertain. Uneasy. I was at the edge of my limits in the race—as in almost any race—but it had been too long since I’d last pushed them, prodded them, played with them, that they’d crept back a bit, and wouldn’t budge.
I know I have potential beyond those limits. I’ve been there. It’s a land I’ve tread before. But right now the path is clouded by a heavy mist. And the key to clearing that mist? Hard work… Hard work and tough training. And finally, I once again feel motivated and encouraged to do those things. To do what’s necessary. ‘Cause damn it if I’m not gonna crush that barrier this year!
And let that be all for now. Work hard, people, and make a lot of anchors in your mind. That’ll help you fulfil whatever great expectations you may have.
